Saturday, April 13, 2013

The 10 Stupidest Mockbusters EVER

Mockbusters are the bootleg equivalents of the movie world, except that they manage to tightrope around legal accusations. They exploit the ignorance of certain moviegoers (parents who don't care what their kids watch, senile grandmothers, etc) into buying knockoff versions of blockbusters. Most mockbusters are released around the same time a popular film is in theaters or just before it hits the home video market. They are cheaply made and often have little to do with the film they are piggybacking save for the basic premise. Unfortunately, mockbusters are doing better than ever due to sites such as Netflix and Hulu.

Just how bad are they? Well....they are often reviewed by shows such as Mystery Science Theater 3000 and are quickly becoming more infamous than B movies, which should set off red flags. So to inform people of the awfulness of mockbusters, here are ten of the worst I have had the (dis)pleasure of watching. 'Enjoy!'

10. Tappy Toes 


Happy Feet was already a cliche enough film about preachy, singing penguins. This movie doesn't even have an IMB page, presumably to keep people from leaving bad reviews on it. Brought to you from the 'brilliant' company, Renegade Animation (which states on its website to bring you "smart, funny, and always original" productions), Tappy Toes is not even what it appears to be on the cover. The film is not done in CGI, but animated in cheaply in Flash. It is about a dancing penguin who is raised by two Skua Birds who eat their own boogers. Seriously. 

9. Age of the Hobbits


Technically, this movie has been renamed Clash of the Empires because it actually sounded similar enough to Peter Jackson's film to provoke a lawsuit. Given that it was released by The Asylum, this perhaps is not too surprising. The company's founder David Michael Latt once said, 

 "I'm not trying to dupe anybody. I'm just trying to get my films watched. Other people do tie-ins all the time; they’re just better at being subtle about it. Another studio might make a giant robot movie that ties into the Transformers release and call it Robot Wars. We’ll call ours Transmorphers."

What an honest man! His vast insights sure make appreciate the artistry and acting in Age of the Hobbits a lot more!

8. Ratatoing


Video Brinquedo is the Brazilian animation equivalent of The Asylum. All of its productions bare an uncanny resemblance to several Dreamworks, Disney, and Pixar films. Ratatoing is perhaps the most infamous of all due to its awkward dialogue and very bad animation. So much so, that it was even parodied on a Cartoon Network show. Currently, Ratatoing has a three percent approval rate on Rotten Tomatoes. Impressive. 

7. The Little Panda Fighter


The Little Panda Fighter is another Video Brinquedo monstrosity. Instead of wanting to become a kung fu panda, however, this one wants to be ballerina... and spends much of his time creepily staring at the audience like on the box art above. He also fights an evil Care Bear at one point. One thing is for sure, after watching this film, anyone can learn to better appreciate the animation that comes out of well known studios (and how they avoid the uncanny valley). 

6. Kiara the Brave


Don't be fooled. This movie has very little at all to do with the similarly named Pixar film. It is actually an Indian film called Super K repackaged to look like Brave. The plot follows a boy with superpowers and his quest to save the galaxy. Too bad for all the little girls who were hoping to see a movie about a plucky princess! The Youtube tailer has its comments disabled, so they can not even voice their disappointment. 

5. Life's a Jungle


Here is film which in no way resembles Madagascar! Still not convinced? Well, it comes with a free downloadable activity kit. Also, here's a fun game kids! Let's play how to spot the uncanny valley again! Note: We are not responsible for any nightmares this production may cause. 

4. The Secret of Mulan


Disney's Mulan and Pixar's A Bugs Life came out during the same year. So somebody decided to release a cartoon with both of them combined. In this version, Caterpillar Mulan fights an evil Hun cockroach and must win the affection of a butterfly prince. The screenwriter's credits include the likes of Jem, Dork Hunters from Outer Space, and Kong: The Animated Series

3. Sunday School Musical


What's worse than High School Musical? The Asylum's Sunday School Musical! Made on the high budget of $8,100, it is guaranteed to offend Christians everywhere. Critics on IMDB are saying, "If a movie is still awful drunk, you know it's a bad film" and, "It's a good laugh if you can appreciate it for what it is - total crap".   

2. The Amazing Bulk


Easily the most unintentionally hilarious mockbuster on this list, The Amazing Bulk fails on every level to be scary or suspenseful. It's a hybrid between a superhero story and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. The producers were so lazy that all of the CGI props stick out like a sore thumb and the green screen is the worst in a motion picture that I have ever seen. Don't get me started on the acting. It looks like a parody on Saturday Night Live


Prepare to laugh or cry, you cannot escape the horribleness of this movie. 

1. Titanic the Animated Movie (Both Versions)


The two animated Titanic movies have become semi-legendary on the internet due to how absolutely bonkers they are. The first one, Titanic: The Legend Goes on, involves a rapping dog, Yiddish mice, and love interests that have about three lines of dialogue a piece. The second, The Legend of the Titanic, is even worse. Here the titanic is not sunk by an iceberg, but by gangster sharks and a giant octopus. It also has dolphins that can communicate with people by crying moonbeams. In both versions, none of the characters die except for the villains. This is so insulting to all of those who died on the real Titanic. It would be like if Disney decided to make an Anne Frank movie.


There is a rapping dog on the Titanic. This is the real tragedy. 

10 comments:

  1. Well my top 11 Most Stupidest Mockbuster films are
    11.Wheely(Ripoff of Cars)
    10.Delhi Safari(Ripoff of Madagascar)
    9.The Adventures of Petey and Friends(Ripoff of Planes)
    8.Trolland(Ripoff of Trolls)
    7.The Reef(Ripoff of Finding Nemo & Shark Tale)
    6.Wings(Ripoff of Planes)
    5.Plan Bee(Ripoff of Bee Movie)
    4.The Little Panda Fighter(Ripoff of Kung Fu Panda)
    3.Ratatoing(Ripoff of Ratatoullie)
    2.An Ant's Life(Ripoff of A Bug's Life & Antz)
    1.A Car's Life(Ripoff of Cars)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah! I hate those movies too! Because some ripoffs like A Car's Life, An Ant's Life, Ratatoing, The Little Panda Fighter, Plan Bee, Wings, The Reef and The Adventures of Petey and Friends have crappy animation while Trolland, Delhi Safari and Wheely have horribly stiff animation!!

      Delete
    2. Exactly! Speaking of which, that poster of Wheely: Fast & Hilarious looks like it's been made by The Asylum Films, although it's made by a Malaysian mockbuster company called KRU Studios A.K.A Kartun Studios

      Delete
  2. Did you guys know there's also a Rio & Free Birds mockbuster, it's called Birds of Paradise, and another one by The Aslylum called Homeward, A.K.A, an Onward mockbuster!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But here's my list of Shitty Disney & Pixar ripoffs
      16.An Ant's Life(A Bug's Life)
      15.Kiara the Brave(Brave)
      14.Homeward(Onward)
      13.Fantastic 4orce(The Incredibles)
      12.The Reef(Finding Nemo)
      11.Frozen Land(Frozen)
      10.Tangled Up(Tangled)
      9.Izzie's Way Home(Finding Dory)
      8.Toyz Goin Wild(Toy Story)
      7.A Car's Life(Cars)
      6.A Car's Life 2(Cars 2)
      5.Wings(Planes)
      4.Wings: Sky Force Heroes(Planes: Fire & Rescue)
      3.A Car's Life 3: The Royal Heist(Cars 3)
      2.Tiny Robots(Wall-E)
      1.Ratatoing(Ratatouille)

      Delete
    2. And here's my list of Shitty DreamWorks ripoffs
      10.Puss in Boots: A Fury Tail(Puss in Boots)
      9.Trolland(Trolls)
      8.The Little Panda Fighter(Kung Fu Panda)
      7.Little and Big Monsters(Monsters VS Aliens)
      6.Donkey Xote(Shrek)
      5.How to Train a Dragon Warrior(How to Train Your Dragon)
      4.Foodfight!(Over the Hedge)
      3.Snailz(Turbo)
      2.Galaxy Aliens(Home)
      1.Delhi Safari(Madagascar)

      Delete
    3. Agreed! But we hope The Asylum doesn't make mockbusters of Despicable Me, Soul, Spy Kids and The Adventures of SharkBoy & LavaGirl like Deplorable Me, Souled, Spy Children and The Adventures of OctoBoy & WaterGirl?? Or else we'll be angry

      Delete
    4. And we also hope The Asylum doesn't even make mockbusters of Cats & Dogs and Soul like Spy Pets and Souled?? Or else we'll be even MORE angry

      Delete
  3. Here are the ripoff characters of the original movies
    1.A Car's Life:
    Sparky-Lightning McQueen
    Fender-Doc Hudson
    Speedy-Sally Carrera
    Gracie-Cruz Ramirez
    Norbert-Luigi or Guido
    Diesel-Chick Hicks
    Otto-Ramone
    Lug Nut-Flo
    Igor-Frank the Combhine Harvester
    Officer Clutch-Sheriff
    Bumper-Sarge
    Mayor Rivet-Bob Cutlass
    Clinch-Darrell Cartrip
    Bankerman-Tex Dinoco
    Walter-Smokey
    Zipper-Strip Weathers
    Struts-Prince Wheeliam
    Queen Limousine-The Queen
    Tow-Tow Mater
    Hood-Jackson Storm
    Axel-Sterling
    Gearbox-Louise Nash

    An Ant's Life:
    Thang-Flik
    Rose-Princess Atta
    Didi-Dot
    Sal-Heimlich
    Josephine-Hopper
    Gigi-Manny
    Gecko 1-Fly Brother 1
    Gecko 2-Fly Brother 2

    Ratatoing:
    Marcell Toing-Remy
    Carol-Django
    Greg-Emile

    The Little Panda Fighter:
    Pancada-Po Panda
    Polaris-Mr. Ping
    Beth-Tigress
    Master Xin-Master Shifu
    Freak Teddy-Tai Lung
    Catotinha-Monkey

    Plan Bee:
    Bing-Barry B. Benson
    Bonnie-Vanessa Bloome
    Buffy-Janet Benson
    Pistill-Martin Benson
    Joey-Dean Buzzwell
    Zips-Trudy
    Queen Akif-Bee Larry King

    Wings:
    Ace-Dusty Crophopper
    Windy-Ishani
    Dodo-El Chupacabra
    Cyclone-Ripslinger
    Colonel-Skipper Riley
    Mr. Cumberbun-Hector Vector
    Davidson-Judge Davis
    Major Munson-Chug
    Patrick-Mayday
    Blue Baron-Croix Cartwright
    Wicketts-Leadbottom
    Rosie-Dottie
    Willowby-Roscoe
    Yellow Tractor-Cow Tractor #1
    Red Tractor-Cow Tractor #2
    Rinaldo-Sparky

    The Reef:
    Pi-Marlin
    Troy-Bruce the Shark
    Cordelia-Dory
    Nerissa-Crush
    Dylan-Gurgle
    Thorton-Jacques
    Pearl-Deb/Flo
    Eddie-Bill
    Blowfish-Bloat
    Pelican-Nigel
    Bobby-Bubbles
    Bart-Charm

    ReplyDelete
  4. And here's MORE of the ripoff characters from other stupid Mockbuster movies
    1.Trolland
    Fenn-Queen Poppy
    Jarvik-Branch
    Olaf-Chef Bergen
    Oppenhop-Cooper
    Finntoozler-Creek
    Klorg-Biggie
    Sapseat-Aspen Heitz

    2.The Adventures of Petey and Friends
    Petey-Dusty Crophopper
    Larry-El Chupacabra
    Kylie-Ishani
    Sharon-Petey
    Drake-Bulldog
    Jerry-Ripslinger
    General-Skipper Riley

    3.Delhi Safari
    Yuvi-Alex
    Alex the Parrot-Marty
    Bajrangi-Melman
    Bagga-Gloria(Not only that, they changed Gloria from a Hippo into a STUPID bear!!)
    Begum-Florie
    Sultan-Zuba
    Piegon-Skipper

    4.Wheely:
    Wheely O'Wheels-Lightning McQueen
    Putt Putt-Tow Mater
    Bella di Monetti-Sally Carrera
    Kaiser-Frank the Combine Harvester
    Momma-Flo
    Sergeant Street-Sheriff
    Ben-Jackson Storm
    Parmo-Grem
    Rumble-Acer
    Crank-Tony Trihull
    Joe-Doc Hudson
    Amy-Cruz Ramirez
    Joe Flo-Strip Weathers
    Brad-Chick Hicks

    ReplyDelete